Ben Affleck Bumbles His Way Through Brady Defense in Nonsensical Rambling Rant


Oh cool, Ben Affleck can drop gratuitous F-bombs.

That’s about all the Boston superfan and Hollywood heavyweight could offer in a sophomoric and slurry dated defense of Tom Brady’s involvement in the Deflategate scandal. Affleck looked like he had a few while getting few details correct about the never-ending Patriots controversy. The hot mess of a whiny performance by Affleck was an embarrassment to Boston sports fans around the globe.

“DeflateGate is the ultimate bullshit fucking outrage of sports, ever! It’s so fucking stupid that I can’t believe it,” Affleck said when asked about the Patriots quarterback.

The 43-year old actor, screenwriter, and producer brought up everyone from Eli Manning to Phil Niekro in his unwieldy effort to defend Brady’s honor.

“This is a conspiracy of people working inside the NFL, who all come from organizations that Tom Brady whipped their ass over the last 10 and 15 years,” Affleck ranted. “So these guys who worked for the fucking Jets, and the Broncos and everybody else, who are now going like, ‘Get him! Hang him!’’ because they have some slight, flimsy fucking pretense…

“I would never give an organization as leak-prone as the NFL my fucking cellphone so [they] could just look though my emails, and listen to my voice mails?” the Cambridge native said.

Affleck was under the impression Ted Wells’ investigators wanted to look at everything on Brady’s phone, not just texts related to the footballs in Foxborough.

“Maybe it’s funny, lovely sex messages from his wife, maybe it’s just friendly messages from his wife? Maybe Tom Brady is so fucking classy and such a fucking gentleman that he doesn’t want people to know that he may have reflected on his real opinion of some of his co-workers,” Affleck rambled on.

“I talk to fucking football players, pro football players. Across the board they think it’s bullshit,” he continued. “[They] haven’t done anything to address this crisis of domestic violence in the NFL, but the fucking football better not be eight percent lighter.”

In August 2015, Affleck’s nanny Christine Ouzounian was photographed wearing Brady’s Super Bowl rings while on a private jet with Tom and Ben as the group headed to Las Vegas. In February, Affleck, Brady, Jennifer Garner, and Gisele Bundchen went on a ski vacation together in Montana where the foursome famously enjoyed some late night nachos.

Bloated Ben’s gibberish took place on “Any Given Wednesday,” the new show by Bill Simmons that made its debut on HBO Wednesday night.