NFL’s ‘Super Bowl Babies’ Is Creepiest Commercial in the History of Earth

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Did Wes Craven come up with this?

During the third quarter of Super Bowl 50, fans will be treated with an NFL commercial that celebrates Super Bowl Babies, i.e. children born nine months after mom and dad’s hometown team raised the Super Bowl trophy.

The NFL and their ad agency worked to find Super Bowl-induced offspring from eight championship teams. This boom of babies star in a creepy parody version of Seal’s “Kiss from a Rose.”

It was just a year ago that the league was running a powerful ad aimed at ending domestic violence and sexual assault. Now this.

Lyrics follow so you can sing along with the test tube babies:

“Super Bowl Babies” lyrics

Ba dada da da da da da da, bada da
What makes the Super Bowl so Super? A day we adore.
It is a day, so super, it’s why we were born.

And in the end
When our team won
Mom and dad looked at each other
One thing led to another that night

[We’re all] Babies,
It all happened on the night that a Super Bowl was played, ooh

That’s why we’re here singing this sweet serenade
And now Super Bowl Fifty is here
There’s so much reason for cheer tonight
Ever since we were in diapers, we’ve watched every game
Cheering so loud. We goo-goo’d. We ga-ga’d. We waaaaah’d
[babies crying]
Baby! We were all just little twinkles, twinkling in our daddy’s eye
Til that Super Bowl Sunday night

And when at last
Nine months have passed
They welcome to the world, us newborn baby boys and girls

[We’re all] Babies,

It all happened on the night that a Super Bowl was played, ooh
A day when history and our families were made
And now Super Bowl Fifty is here
So much reason for cheer tonight

We’re all Super Bowl Babies, oh yeah
We’re all Super Bowl Babies, oh yeah

When there were no more jalapeno-chili-bacon chicken wings
Mommy and dad, they cuddled. Canoodled. All night. Baby.
On that night our moms and dads were so filled with desire
[filled with desire]
Here we stand, a baby choir.

[We’re all] Babies,
It all happened on the night that a Super Bowl was played, ooh

That’s why we’re here singing this sweet serenade
And now Super Bowl Fifty is here
So much reason for cheer tonight
Ba dada da da da da da da, bada da Ba dada da da da da da da, bada da
And now Super Bowl Fifty is here
So much reason for cheer tonight