My first piece of the season wasn’t exactly a hit, but you miss all the shots you don’t take, right?

Also, I let other Fantasy “analysts” get in my head by declaring Cam Newton and Kelvy Benj un-startable. That’s a rookie move. Go with your own takes, don’t depend on others. First day blogger stuff if we’re being honest. I’m not blaming anybody, that’s my bad. “My B” as the kids say. Do kids still say that? Did they ever? Whatever. The point is, my job is to lead you to the promised land, not to veer off into the woods on the highway going 90 miles an hour. Unfortunately, I did just that last week. Don’t worry, I’m determined to right the ship this week by giving you players I not only like this week, but guys you you can either sell high or buy low on. You deserve better, people. I can be better. I WILL be better.

Gary Barnidge – TE, Cleveland Browns

That’s right, baby I’m off and rolling! Look, he put up a goose egg last week, so he can’t do any worse. Also, RG3 is out for the foreseeable future (SHOCKER!) and Josh McCown is the next guy up. McCown notoriously loves Barnidge and single-handedly turned him into a star last season. If you have Barnidge, hold on to him and sell high when the time comes if you’d like. If you don’t have him? Buy low, buy low, and BUY LOW.

DeAngelo Williams – RB, Pittsburgh Steelers

For those of you in 12-14 team leagues, or the people who drafted like morons in 10 teamers and somehow ended up weak at one position or another, DeAngelo Williams is the perfect trade high candidate. The guy has been a beast since LeVeon went down last season and will continue to see a heavy workload the next two weeks. Your most likely trade partner is the LeVeon owner because right now there’s no better handcuff in the league. You trade high on this guy and do it quick because without LeVeon on your roster, he’s just taking up space. Sell on D-Will now because the more games that go by, the more his value goes down. As a Bell owner myself, I just traded an injury prone Ryan Mathews for him. Mathews has a tough schedule coming up outside of this week and is going to lose one of his starting OL to a suspension. I have a stud RB core until LeVeon comes back and from there it just gets even better.

Matt Forte – RB, New York Jets

Fifteen points v. CIN and 28 against Buffalo last night. Is there anything this guy can’t do? Yes, there is. Stay healthy. He’s old as hell, for lack of a better term and I can’t see a situation where given his workload, he continues to stay healthy. If Bilal Powell isn’t owned in your league, pick him up, especially if you’re a Forte owner. Forte is one of the best sell high candidates in the league right now. Given what he’s done so far this season, there’s a good chance you could snag a stud WR1 that had a slow Week 1 such as ODB or Alshon Jeffery. Or hold onto Forte and watch him blow his knee out in three weeks if you’re a glutton for punishment.

Jarvis Landry – WR, Miami Dolphins

Talk about a guy to buy low on! He had double digit targets last week v. a studly Seattle Seahawks defense and will likely continue the landslide against the Patriots on Sunday. Furthermore, the Dolphins starting running back is about four hits away from breaking or tearing something else in his body, so Miami will have to throw more because… well.. Jay Ajayi. Anyway, wait until he puts up pedestrian numbers in Week 2 before you trade for Landry, that way you get 50 cents on the dollar instead of 75. I’m no math major (really, I’m not. I suck at math.) but if you can wait a few days longer and give up less for a player with high upside, I think that’s a good thing.

Brandon Cooks – WR, New Orleans Saints

Admittedly so, I’ve never been a huge Cooks fan. He had 9 targets last week, but so did Willie Snead. Michael Thomas had six, so his day wasn’t too bad either. The point is, Brees likes to spread the ball around. Cooks ended up in the end zone more, sure, but I think by the end of the year Snead will be the player to own. Cooks is faster, Snead has better hands. They form a great one-two punch, but Snead is more reliable. The Saints will be in a shootout with the Giants this weekend so waiting until after Week 2 to ship on Cooks may be a good idea, but I don’t know if his value will be any higher than it is right now.

You’re probably upset with me. You’re sullen and downtrodden. You sat Killa Cam and Benji when you shouldn’t have. I get that. You’re on the side of the road watching a tow truck driver hook your ’98 Dodge Neon up to his rig so he can pull you out of the woods. Your car is a wreck, there’s twigs and branches coming out of your tailpipe and you may have hit a deer. You definitely hit a deer. A baby deer. You hit two baby deers. You’re down and out; I get that. But guess what? You’re about to take the last $10 you have until next weeks paycheck to the corner store to buy a lottery ticket (which is always a responsible decision). And you hit. You hit BIG! We’re taking that sumbitch down to the lottery office and turning that Neon into a sweet looking Camaro! That’s what I just did for you with this piece. I’m modest though. Don’t thank me, thank yourself for coming back to me and good luck in Week 2!