The Red Sox just can’t help themselves.

When there is a classy way of doing something vs. taking the cheesy way, the Sox will go for the cheese every time.

We bring you David Ortiz Day, in of all places: Fort Myers, Florida.

On Monday before the Red Sox-Blue Jays game that is being billed as David Ortiz’s final spring training game at Jet Blue Park, the Sox will honor Big Papi with a half-hour ceremony that will include gifts for Ortiz to commemorate his warm-up days in Lee County.

Give me a break.

Even for the Red Sox, this is over the top. Do they really have to honor their retiring slugger in the land of fast food restaurants and strip joints?

The last time the team had a star of Ortiz’s magnitude retire as a member of the Red Sox was Carl Yastrzemski back in 1983. Back then, the Red Sox treated Yaz’s retirement gracefully, having a beautiful and emotional retirement ceremony on the next to last day of the season. There was no “Yaz Day” in the spring back in Winter Haven.

This is just a glimpse of the schmaltz the Red Sox will be putting out this year. And if the team is not a contender, look for Big Papi events on a nightly basis to help fill the Fenway seats.

There will be the “David Ortiz Bat Flip Night,” the “Change That Error To a Hit So I Can Get An RBI” Saturday matinee, the “Hit Into the Shift” Friday night special. And it will go on and on and on.

Ortiz has been a great player here in Boston and has meant a lot to Red Sox Nation. But come on Red Sox brass, try to stay classy and not go overboard.

Anyone have Dr. Charles’s number in Pawtucket?